Dumb DCOMs: Jump In!

What’s up y'all and welcome to this new series. For those of you who forgot or had a terrible childhood, DCOM stands for Disney Channel Original Movie. These are films like High School Musical, Camp Rock and Lemonade Mouth. Some of these movies are cult classics but others...not so much. Anyways, we’re going to revisit some of them and see how well they hold up, so today let's look at Jump In!

So ‘Jump In!’ stars Corbin Bleu as Izzy Daniels, an up and coming boxer in Brooklyn, with dreams of winning a pair of golden gloves. Keke Palmer is here too. She plays Izzy’s neighbor, Mary Thomas and is on a competitive double dutch team. Yeah, you read that right, double dutch.

This movie is soooo corny. I mean, what else can you expect from a movie about jump rope. Izzy is always doing flips in the middle of the street for some reason? Like bro, why are you doing that? He has crackhead energy. If I saw someone just randomly flipping on the sidewalk I would walk in the opposite direction. Anyways, this movie falls flat on a technical level. The color palette is so washed out and the cinematography is saturated. It’s like watching a soap opera. Izzy spends a lot of time training in these cheesy montages and the movie does a terrible job at trying to emphasize that he’s really good at jump roping. Then, we finally get some action because ya know, he’s a boxer and these kids fight like bitches. It’s like they’re scared to throw a punch and get hit. How did you get this far fighting like this? I wouldn’t be surprised if Corbin Bleu admitted that he’s never been in a fight before. Also, this movie just doesn’t care if you notice the stunt doubles. So we’re introduced to Mary and her double dutch team, the Joy Jumpers. They’re having problems because they keep losing and their routines are trash. One of the teammates quits and they need a new member. They ask Izzy and he secretly joins because he’s not with that gay stuff, ya know? Izzy starts missing boxing matches and practice so he can be with the team and his dad starts being hella suspicious. For some reason Izzy doesn’t tell his dad that he’s on a double dutch team? Bruh, why are you being so weird? You’re acting like it’s illegal to jump rope or something. What is he gonna do, kick you out? Is he gonna be like “no child of mine is going to be caught jumping rope in this house!” Like, just tell the man that you’re on a double dutch team. There’s a bully character here too, named Rodney, and he exposes Izzy by taking pictures of him practicing with his team and showing the entire school. Everyone is laughing at Izzy for some reason? Let the man jump rope in peace. Also, Rodney’s hairline is hard to look at. It looks like his hairline is running from his eyebrows. Anyways, Izzy quits the team and goes back to boxing, but he loves them ropes too much, so he joins the team again. They train for some big championship competition thing and the team just straight up steals a routine from some kids in a park. Like, excuse me? We’re supposed to be rooting for these guys? They’re scumbags. So, they go to the big competition, now calling themselves the Red Hot Chili Steppers, and do their thing and half of their routine doesn’t even involve jump ropes at all. Shouldn’t they be disqualified? How do you judge a double dutch competition anyways? I don’t know man, this is weird. Every song that the teams jump to sound like boneless Black Eyed Peas songs. The Red Hot Chili Steppers don’t win until next year. How do we know this? Because Rodney has been narrating the whole time for some reason. ‘Jump In!’ is a weird movie that takes itself too seriously.