Hancock Sucks Cock

Overview:

A drunken superhero attempts to reinvent himself with the help of a P.R. expert.

Initial Thoughts:

Hancock is bad, but Will smith is good. Guys, Hancock is such a bad guy, no pun intended. I took the liberty of listing all of the crimes he committed throughout the film, so you don’t have to, I’m the best I know. Hancock has openly committed acts of public Intoxication, attempted murder, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and destruction of public property. Are we sure this guy isn’t a super villain? There’s scenes where Hancock definitely murders innocent civilians. What if that guy you killed had a family? Now the wife has to get a job, the oldest son is probably gonna join a gang and sell drugs to help put food on the table, he’s gonna get shot. Was it fatal? No. The mom wishes that it was because these hospital bills just keep piling up and although she hates to think about it, it would have been cheaper to bury her son rather than buy a wheelchair, since he’s paralyzed now. Did I lose you, reader? My bad. ANYWAYS. Hancock is a mess. Let's take a look at the characters.

Characters/Performances:

Jason Bateman as Ray: Ray is the P.R. representative that helps Hancock rebuild his image. For those of you that don’t know P.R. is short for public relations, meaning translating an image or person and making it appealing to the public. Or for dummies, an advertising specialist. Ray, as a character, is what’s called an “everyman.” meaning that he’s only here for the audience to relate to him. That’s all he does. This is, without a doubt, the most boring character here. He’s a loser.

Charlize Theron as Mary: Mary is an asshole. She lies and cucks her husband, Ray. Spoilers if you care, she has powers too and she’s Hancock’s “soulmate,” THEN it’s revealed that they’re siblings??? The film fumbles so many bags. Anyways, she treats Hancock like shit because he’s trying to get back on his feet. She kisses him behind her husband’s back. Completely destroys their home in a fit of rage. It’s just too much to talk about tbh. I hated his character so much bro.

Will Smith as Hancock: I’m gonna start this off by saying that I’m a Will Smith fan. However, I don’t like everything that he does. What’s that? Do you want an example? Well okay. Off the top of my head, His entire discography, Gemini Man, and I’ll throw in Men In Black Three just to be safe. I think Hancock is a good performance from Smith but the script leaves a lot to be desired. There’s emotional scenes in this and Smith really delivers, like always, but the writing around the scene feels awkward. There’s also comedy. Smith and Bateman are the vessels for the laughs here but Smith shines. I said it once...or twice and I’ll say it again, Hancock is an asshole. His character just doesn't work and even Will Smith couldn't save him.

Final Thoughts:

Hancock kinda makes me wish I had a terminal illness. Actually that's, what this film feels like. It’s not terrible right away but it wears you down slowly. There’s so many plot holes in this film too. There’s a scene where Hancock stops a train because Ray is stuck on the tracks. Instead of picking up Ray’s car and flying straight up in the air, he flips the car over and stops the train using his shoulder. Hancock let's have a talk buddy. That was so uncalled for, first of all. Second of all, you put Ray’s life in more danger by flipping his car over to “save his life.” Third of all, you derailed a train, what if that train had medical supplies Mr. Cock? Huh? Just don’t make no sense. This is just one of the many plot holes this film has. Anyways, if you're reading this Shantell I love you, It’s ya boi bry, being drunk and “saving lives” in the process, peace.

Rate:

D-